This blog/YouTube video came about after some pretty narly experiences with some nasty, hurtful people who will remain nameless but if you’re reading this.. Anywho, after getting past these people in my own life I oddly enough was asked by a client, ‘how do you handle assholes?’ When my laughter subsided I thought to myself ‘how do I handle assholes?’ So I investigated my actions and came up with, you guessed it.. a list! Steps I take now to detail with people who I will politely call, negative 🤣
1 Are They Important?
How important are these assholes? I mean negative people in your life, are they your boss, coworker, clients, sibling, parent, or friend and where do they rank on a scale of 1-10? 1 being Joe Smoe on the street and 10 being your spouse or child? Honestly evaluate what the mean to you and ask yourself, ‘can I live without this person?’ if yes then the next couple of steps are pretty easy! If this person is a 5 or high continue reading..
2 Is This Who They Are?
Another important question must be asked, is this who they always are or are they going through a difficult situation? I am not one to just cut people out of my life and I would never advise anyone to be so cold. After asking yourself and answering honestly you find that the person in question is indeed just like this all the time more on to my next step! If this negative person is struggling with loss, financial stress, illness, or what have you then offer a shoulder to cry on, a hug to comfort, or a hand to hold but DO NOT accept mistreatment. We all are struggling to fight our own battles but misplacing negativity or pain is not right! Speak up for yourself in a calm and level headed manor and see if this communication opens them up to being comfortable to talk through their struggles.
3 Try To Be Compassionate
This has helped me many times get over other peoples bad behavior and negativity. I try to see the situation from their eyes! If someone cuts me off in traffic yes I have the urge to give them the finger but often I make up a situation like maybe he just lost his job or maybe she found out her child is sick at school. I truly believe people aren’t wired to be assholes to one another, sometimes life throws stuff at us and we just react so having so compassion helps the rest of the world when people in our lives are having crappy days.
4 The Fade Out
If all else fails and you know confronting this person will end in an explosion do the fade out technique. Where you slowly ignore them, unanswered emails,text, and phone calls are often indicators that you don’t really want to talk right now. They will get the hint! I don’t like this one as much as I like talking through issues with people but if non-confrontational is how you like to roll then by all means do it. Save yourself time and energy pushing yourself to deal with this persons life sucking negativity. Maybe if you want over time reach out and explain but ultimately thats up to you!
5 The Unavoidable
If this is someone who cannot be ignored, the 7-10 on the number scale, create a reminder. So I often do this with people who I have to interact with that their negative energy often drains me, it really works! So when I know I am seeing them or interacting with them I create a reminder in my head and I repeat it every time they get on the negativity train while with me and it goes like this ‘this is not mine, this is theirs to own.’ I know it sounds crazy but it has gotten me through some really craptastic interactions with some brutally negative people!
These techniques and advice will only work if in fact you are not being the negative Nancy! Do a self check when put into these situations. Is there something I am doing to make this experience suck? Am I in fact being a jerk right now? Often we confuse perception for reality because well perception is how we see the world, duh! So really take these interactions as opportunities to become more self aware and sort your stuff out first!
I hope these negative people come around and if not these tips/steps help you to deal with them a little bit easier! Let me know what you think by leaving a comment or sending an email via the contact tab above.
Until next time, stay positive and stay Motivated.